Establishing a long and stable adult relationship is not an easy task. Often, dysfunctional relationships may be the product of earlier life experiences. Emotion A common life-trap, or behavourial pattern, is derived from emotional deprivation that is likely to originate from early adverse childhood experiences. The impact of emotional deprivation in adulthood is manifested in self-defeating behaviours. For example, inadequate or inappropriate coping strategies: avoidance behaviour, surrender, self-sacrifice, overcompensation, and/or possibly substance abuse.
When a child’s formative growth years are characterised by an absence of affection, empathy, or guidance, a child can grow up with unfounded core beliefs. These unfounded core beliefs may negatively impact his/her ability to connect with other people or form stable relationships. The results are increased levels of loneliness and the constant thought that one is not good enough, understood, or loved.
Early indications that a relationship may be in trouble are feelings that your partner does not listen, you do all the talking, your partner is only sporadically available, is often cold and aloof, is not there for you in moments of vulnerability and distress, and does not give as much emotionally.
Luckily not all children with an adverse childhood experience will have emotional difficulties later in life. Research indicates that one in three will grow up to lead productive careers and have warm and loving relationships. There may be several reasons for this but two important aspects are a child’s’ temperament and the degree of resilience that a child may develop.
Our aim is to improve relationships by increasing emotional awareness, altering destructive behaviour patterns and by setting emotional goals and objectives.
Reference
Young, J.S., & Klosko, J. (2019). Reinventing Your Life. Scribe Publications Pty Ltd. Kindle Edition.